Yes, it’s true. I’ve let my stress get the best of me today. Don’t get me wrong, today was another great day. We had a fairly productive rehearsal outside (until the last 30 minutes or so when all brains started to waste away) this morning, band class went well and most kids that I listened to pass off their marching music did fine. We even got a wireless router all set up in my office so I can use my Dell laptop up at school and get on the internet if needed! During lunch, I met with the Band Booster Scholarship committee and helped them decide to give out a bunch of private lesson scholarships. This was meeting #2 on this topic and between the two meetings, they’ve given out their budgeted $5700.00 (and a smidge more, even) over three campuses! All that and I wasn’t even at school a full 12 hours today (only 11.5).
So, if today was such a good day, why am I at my witt’s end? I guess because today was an “easy” day for this week. I had only left school before dark once this week before today and what happened on the way home? I got a flat tire. I’ve worked more hours this than college algebra can add up and we’ve only finished week 3 of school. I have needy cats to come home to, my yard is frying up before my eyes and I haven’t had a moment to stop and pay any bills yet. My toilet decided to back up on me this morning and all I really want is a long, hot bubble bath.
Actually, no. What I really want is for someone to come and take care of me for a little bit. Not anything fancy…just a back rub and run the tub for me. Only, I don’t want just anyone to do it and there’s no one that isn’t “just anyone” right now. Honestly, I don’t know if I really want to go through all that hub-bub of courting and romance at this point in time of my life.
And that really counts for more than just this week or this marching season (as of today). I love living here alone; well, me and my cats. I love that I can come home after being noisy and rambunctious with kids all day and I can escape to no noise except the air conditioner running here. I don’t have to answer my phone (although I did answer it 3 times…it was Brian, the “boss” with computer questions) or make conversation if I don’t want to. I can watch whatever sappy TV show or movie I feel like and if I really feel like crying over the latest Hallmark greeting card commercial, I can!
Would I appreciate some company? Of course. Do I feel like I need it? I don’t think so, not right now, anyways. Is this healthy? I have NO idea. Am I a little overly-cautious from past relationships? Yeah, but only a little bit. Besides, there’s no one out there that’s showing interest and I don’t have time to know if I’m interested so it’s okay.
I’m rambling so I’m going to stop before people start thinking the wrong thing about what I’m talking about. I’m okay. I just needed to write. Thanks for reading…or not. 😉
…Don’t do it…PUT that plunger down. The toilet is already fixed.