Author: Benford

I wish my bathroom looked like this!

It’s amazing what talking to good friends, some sunshine, a great day with kids and a relaxing bath can do for one’s soul. Saturday was not a good day. If it weren’t for the little girl time I got to have, I honestly don’t know if I could have recovered so quickly. Thank goodness!

Boy howdy (and when have I ever said that before??), was this weather dark and gloomy! It certainly lent to a gloomy mood, and with a few other things going on in my world, it certainly led to my feeling like a jackass magnet. The last couple of guys I’ve dated were quite the jackasses and I’m not sure if I remember the last guy I really dated that wasn’t. In fact, I had to ask my friend Cathy why one ex and I broke up. Luckily, he wasn’t a jackass…we just grew apart.

In 2006, I’ve seen 6 or 7 friends go through difficulties in their marriages that have caused them to split up and many of those friends have either gotten divorced or are in the process of it. There are still two or three that may be able to save their marriages or at least their relationship. Granted, I don’t know all the details of each break up but knowing what I do know, it makes me wonder if any of it is worth it. There are plenty of couples I know that are in successful marriages and that gives me hope for a successful relationship at some point in the future. But do I really want it in the form of a marriage? That’s where I’m not so sure. I’ve talked to my dad some about this and he kind of agrees on the merits of having a successful relationship without the confines of a marriage. All very hard to wrap my mind around but still very fascinating.

My friends are amazing. They give me so much guidance with their experiences and their willingness to share with me. Of course, I can only do what is best for me and I have to take each opportunity for what they are and what they offer. The only thing I can do is be honest with them and myself. It’s only fair….

From the movie Frida:

Tina Modotti: I don’t believe in marriage.
[crowd laughs]
Tina Modotti: No, I really don’t. Let me be clear about that. I think at worst it’s a hostile political act, a way for small-minded men to keep women in the house and out of the way, wrapped up in the guise of tradition and conservative religious nonsense. At best, it’s a happy delusion – these two people who truly love each other and have no idea how truly miserable they’re about to make each other. But, but, when two people know that, and they decide with eyes wide open to face each other and get married anyway, then I don’t think it’s conservative or delusional. I think it’s radical and courageous and very romantic. To Diego and Frida.

Makes a lot of sense to a drunken me.