Love, love, LOVE!

Love is an interesting word because it’s a word we all know but can’t describe because it has so many meanings to just one person. It’s also become a word we’ve come to throw around hap-hazardously, or do we? Why am I choosing now to write about this? Honestly, I’m not sure. I was thinking about a friend I miss and started thinking about love.

I use the word love often but I’m not sure that I don’t mean it each time. Okay, double negatives…let me be more clear. Each time I use the word love, I think I truly mean it in one way or another and I think it’s legitimate.

I love my family. That’s a given. But I also have people in my life that I feel I’m connected to like they are family and I love them unconditionally as I love my immediate family. I would do anything for them, if it is at all possible.

I love my students and I try to tell them often how much I care for them. I don’t have kids of my own and I’m not really sure that I will. I think many of us understand how band is like a family in its own right and although these kids aren’t my own, I try to look at them as they are family and be fair in that nature. It’s hard when you have 180+ kids in your family, too! 😉 It’s like I go to work everyday with my nieces and nephews. It’s an interesting dynamic and I think they appreciate the love I show them in my teaching and in my guiding them through their teenage (and then some) years.

Here’s the tricky one – being in love with someone romantically. This is the one that confuses and hangs up many men and women over time. There are several men I’ve dated that I’ve truly loved. And each one still holds a special place in my heart. I feel the love I felt for one is not quite the same as for another. I believe (as do many magazines and psychiatrists) women and men feel love and show love in very, very different ways. Unfortunately, this difference can create very uncomfortable lives for some. Ironic, isn’t it – love creates uncomfort. I also find it ironic how love can cause fear as well. But I try to overcome my fears with honesty.

I don’t consider myself to be severely selfish in nature. There have been times when I feel I’m so filled with my love for someone (usually not the romantic kind) that I just have to say it – “I love you”. Sometimes the words are returned and sometimes it’s not. This is one of the selfish things I do, I don’t say it for your benefit, I say it for mine.

But regardless, if I tell you I love you, I mean it. Our relationship fills my heart and I just can’t help letting you know.

So why did I write all this? It filled my brain and I had to let it all out. I guess another selfish moment. 😀 Have a wonderful day!

Love you, mean it!
~C

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