Category: Funnies

We take this moment to bring you this very important Public Service Announcement…

PSA

Chocolate Math

My friend Cheryl sent me this. I’m not too big of a fan of chocolate (yes, I know – *gasp*) but it does work.

YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH

DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

It takes less than a minute
Work this out as you read …
Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that! you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 — I’ll wait while you get the calculator.
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756. If you haven’t, add 1755.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2006) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

I also got this at work. It’s called “The Bird Flu Hits Florida”. 😀

True Friends

“True” Friendship
None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy “friendship” poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad — I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile — I will know you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared — I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused — I will use little words.
7. When you are sick — Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall — I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath….. I pledge it to the end. “Why?” you may ask; “because you are my friend”.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Back on the hunt.

The house hunt has started again. This afternoon, my realtor Karen and I looked at nearly 15 houses, with it amounting to a lot of “not quite rights”. We did find 3 houses that were basically identical in layout but very different in how they’d been lived in and marketed. Although it’s a bit smaller floorplan (not necessarily smaller than the Black Locust house) I do like the layout fairly well. It’s a pretty open floorplan that lends to good flow. Karen’s going to run the comparables for the neighborhood and see if I can offer less than asking for the one I like the most. If all works well, I should be able to schedule a closing for the end of May, as my lease runs out.

BTW, I love the Match.com working with Dr. Phil commercial. I wish there really were such things as “Available Guy Parades”…..