Author: Benford

How to save the airlines

Thanks to Connie for this! I could see this method also help lower the number of men afraid of flying as well.

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell — They don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a “party atmosphere” going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and “special services.”

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right — a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn’t Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clinton

Random thoughts through the day…

For all you “Lost” fans with iPods…
You too can be a part of Lost! (But only if you have a 5th generation iPod.)

Maybe I don’t want a chihuahua after all…
OUCH!

Weekend

This weekend was so wonderful!

On Saturday, we had our TMEA Region meeting but it only lasted 2 hours (I thought it was going to be a marathon all day thing) and everything went really smoothly. No arguments for the most part. Always a bonus and not always the expected.

The saxophone section had their First Annual Kite Day that afternoon. Not only did they play with kites, they had bar-b-qued burgers, volleyball, water fights (I managed to keep dry), cards, dominoes, etc. I went and hung out for a few hours and had so much fun! Most of the parents were there so it was a nice time to catch up on stuff that wasn’t just band related.

I really didn’t want to leave when I did but had to because Trish was playing with the Austin Civic Orchestra that evening and I was going to the concert in So. ATX. Amongst a few other very beautiful pieces I wasn’t previously familiar with, they were playing The Planets in their entirety! Considering this is an orchestra made up of many people that aren’t professional performing musicians, the concert was really quite well performed.

After that, I met up with my best friend Cathy and also with Daniel Montoya, Jr. at Opal Devine’s Penn Field and we had a fun time there, too!

Saturday seems like it was a busy day but really, it was all very laid back and comfortable. Just what I had needed.

Sunday was my birthday. I know you’re asking, “Why didn’t you remind us before this?” but honestly, I’ve been so stressed and tired that I didn’t want to deal with planning or doing much of anything this year. I really wasn’t feeling the whole birthday celebration need thing. I think I’ve mentioned it like twice this month on my blogs and that’s been it. *sigh* But it’s okay…

When I woke up, I layed in bed, watching some TV and hanging with the cats. I was going to go out and get myself some breakfast somewhere but then Cathy called, wanting to go have brunch so we did. We actually ended up having lunch at TGI Friday’s. Have you had their Pecan Crusted Chicken (Cathy’s dish) or their Cedar-Seared Salmon (mine)? Holy Cow, they’re both quite yummy!!

After lunch, we headed to Target ’cause I was hoping to get another lounge chair (hopefully similar to the one I already have) for my backyard because we were planning on hanging out in the backyard for a while…no luck. Everything they had there was either not a lounge chair, for a small child or just plain boring. *sigh* Regardless, I got my first summer reading series book and some 5 lb. hand weights. Still a successful trip. 🙂

Daniel then met us at my house to give me my birthday present – Home Depot Dollars!!! Thanks, Daniel!! 😀

Cathy left shortly after and my family came over. We went to the Sedatole’s house because they were grilling steaks and invited us over (I guess I could say for my birthday). They bought me a yummy cake and we had a really nice time.

As you can see, the whole weekend was really laid back and relaxed. Thanks to everyone and their Birthday Messages in all forms! They meant the world to me. I hope you have a fantastic week!!

Another Wal-Mart Protest

Apparently, the group that is protesting a new Wal-Mart replacing the old and nearly abandoned Northcross Mall is planning two things today.

1. They’re doing some hands across Austin thing this morning. (Okay, whatever).
2. They’re going to stage a traffic jam at Northcross Mall this evening to show what traffic would be like if they put a new Wal-Mart there.

This is the protest that cracks me up for several reasons.
1. Northcross Mall used to be a very popular mall. Weren’t there traffic jams back then? I know there weren’t nearly that many people in Austin then but the roads were still the same size and the adjacent buildings were there with just as popular boutiques. I would think the amount of traffic going in or out would be similar if Wal-Mart goes in.
2. If that community really doesn’t want a Wal-Mart there, they shouldn’t shop there once it goes up. Wouldn’t that actually help decrease traffic to that area or at least keep it the same as if it stayed the way it is now?
3. I heard about it on the news this morning and they’re telling people to avoid the area if they want to make any traffic progress this evening. If everyone who really didn’t care if Wal-Mart goes in or not really does avoid the area, is anyone going to care about some staged traffic jam? Isn’t the point now moot? Or, again, if all the extra (non-protesting) cars aren’t there, will there even be a traffic jam?

Whatever. I won’t be down there. I rarely get south of Parmer, much less Hwy 183….