Category: A Better Me

Gloomy mood

Boy howdy (and when have I ever said that before??), was this weather dark and gloomy! It certainly lent to a gloomy mood, and with a few other things going on in my world, it certainly led to my feeling like a jackass magnet. The last couple of guys I’ve dated were quite the jackasses and I’m not sure if I remember the last guy I really dated that wasn’t. In fact, I had to ask my friend Cathy why one ex and I broke up. Luckily, he wasn’t a jackass…we just grew apart.

In 2006, I’ve seen 6 or 7 friends go through difficulties in their marriages that have caused them to split up and many of those friends have either gotten divorced or are in the process of it. There are still two or three that may be able to save their marriages or at least their relationship. Granted, I don’t know all the details of each break up but knowing what I do know, it makes me wonder if any of it is worth it. There are plenty of couples I know that are in successful marriages and that gives me hope for a successful relationship at some point in the future. But do I really want it in the form of a marriage? That’s where I’m not so sure. I’ve talked to my dad some about this and he kind of agrees on the merits of having a successful relationship without the confines of a marriage. All very hard to wrap my mind around but still very fascinating.

My friends are amazing. They give me so much guidance with their experiences and their willingness to share with me. Of course, I can only do what is best for me and I have to take each opportunity for what they are and what they offer. The only thing I can do is be honest with them and myself. It’s only fair….

On marriage

From the movie Frida:

Tina Modotti: I don’t believe in marriage.
[crowd laughs]
Tina Modotti: No, I really don’t. Let me be clear about that. I think at worst it’s a hostile political act, a way for small-minded men to keep women in the house and out of the way, wrapped up in the guise of tradition and conservative religious nonsense. At best, it’s a happy delusion – these two people who truly love each other and have no idea how truly miserable they’re about to make each other. But, but, when two people know that, and they decide with eyes wide open to face each other and get married anyway, then I don’t think it’s conservative or delusional. I think it’s radical and courageous and very romantic. To Diego and Frida.

Makes a lot of sense to a drunken me.

Update

I had my orthopedic appointment on Wednesday and we took some new x-rays and determined (still) that it’s not bone injuries. He did find that I have pain in my hampstring and where it attaches to the bone below my knee and he said that was strange because most of my pain occurs in my patella. He prescribed physical therapy to strengthen some specific muscles around the areas that are causing pain and I’ll go back in a month to see if he needs to do an MRI or not. Doesn’t look like a quick fix but it may not require surgery, which will be fantastic! Unfortunately, my insurance deductable is $500 (which isn’t horrible) but with my single income and house payments, I’ll have to really watch the budget as I pay for my physical therapy. I guess I might have to wait a few versions on that iPhone, too. If you’d like to donate to the Cathy Benford Medical fund…..

Back to work.

If you can’t tell, school has started again and I’m back to work. The postings always decrease as we ramp up for a new semester. We’ve had 4 days of school yet so much activity. Here’s what has happened in a nutshell:

  • We entered 175 or so solos & ensembles in UIL Region 26 Solo & Ensemble contest (getting in all the paperwork – acurately – is always quite stressful).
  • Took 4 students to Waco for Area D Band Contest. Everyone did well in their rooms and we even had 1 student become a TMEA All-Stater. (The 2nd in SP history.)
  • Had our first Band Booster Meeting for the Spring.
  • Had my first Jazz Ensemble rehearsal for the year (it’s a zero hour class).
  • Played at a basketball game last night.
  • Had a fundraiser night at Gatt-i-land last night.
  • We had a photography company take pictures for a composite last November and that company has been here this week to make packages available to parents.

    • It’s little things but they add up and I’m exhausted already. I’ve also taken down Christmas from my house and did some more post-New Years Eve gathering clean-up (there were a lot of champagne glasses to wash). So, nothing too exciting; just busy.

    This afternoon, I have an appointment with an orthopedic specialist to see what we can do about making my knees healthy. They’ve gotten to hurting too often and my regular remedies of pain relief aren’t working as well. It’s time to get this thing fixed. As good as surgical procedures may be now, I really don’t want to have to go down that road quite yet. Let’s hope whatever the solution is, it’s mostly covered by insurance (yeah, right) or reasonably affordable. Whatever happens, I’m excited that I’m going to be able to have a better understanding of what’s going on with my knees. Let’s hope for the best!

    The New Bed

    The other day, Cathy & I (no, I don’t have an identity crisis) went to IKEA so I could get the bed & chair I’ve been wanting. The chair was out of stock but the bed was there so I got it! Today, I got a chance to put it together and man, it took some time. There was 13 simple steps and then 3 more than took longer than the first 13!! My fingers hurt because instead of making the screws all screwable with a normal screwdriver (or powered screwdriver), they include this allen wrench looking tool that’s short so you don’t get much leverage so my fingers are now very tender. Anywho, here’s the process in pictures:

    Stanley supervises my getting started.

    Halfway done!

    Here comes the part that really takes forever and hurts my fingers.

    Sticking out my tongue made it a little better…

    Now, to get the matress on and the bed made. Stanley still supervises.

    Ah, all done!

    You know, they should really include in the instructions that if the assembler has a power drill and bits, it would help because there are several “self-tapping” screws that be SO much easier to put in when a tap hole is drilled first…. Other than that, it was very satisfying!