Love, love, LOVE!

Love is an interesting word because it’s a word we all know but can’t describe because it has so many meanings to just one person. It’s also become a word we’ve come to throw around hap-hazardously, or do we? Why am I choosing now to write about this? Honestly, I’m not sure. I was thinking about a friend I miss and started thinking about love.

I use the word love often but I’m not sure that I don’t mean it each time. Okay, double negatives…let me be more clear. Each time I use the word love, I think I truly mean it in one way or another and I think it’s legitimate.

I love my family. That’s a given. But I also have people in my life that I feel I’m connected to like they are family and I love them unconditionally as I love my immediate family. I would do anything for them, if it is at all possible.

I love my students and I try to tell them often how much I care for them. I don’t have kids of my own and I’m not really sure that I will. I think many of us understand how band is like a family in its own right and although these kids aren’t my own, I try to look at them as they are family and be fair in that nature. It’s hard when you have 180+ kids in your family, too! 😉 It’s like I go to work everyday with my nieces and nephews. It’s an interesting dynamic and I think they appreciate the love I show them in my teaching and in my guiding them through their teenage (and then some) years.

Here’s the tricky one – being in love with someone romantically. This is the one that confuses and hangs up many men and women over time. There are several men I’ve dated that I’ve truly loved. And each one still holds a special place in my heart. I feel the love I felt for one is not quite the same as for another. I believe (as do many magazines and psychiatrists) women and men feel love and show love in very, very different ways. Unfortunately, this difference can create very uncomfortable lives for some. Ironic, isn’t it – love creates uncomfort. I also find it ironic how love can cause fear as well. But I try to overcome my fears with honesty.

I don’t consider myself to be severely selfish in nature. There have been times when I feel I’m so filled with my love for someone (usually not the romantic kind) that I just have to say it – “I love you”. Sometimes the words are returned and sometimes it’s not. This is one of the selfish things I do, I don’t say it for your benefit, I say it for mine.

But regardless, if I tell you I love you, I mean it. Our relationship fills my heart and I just can’t help letting you know.

So why did I write all this? It filled my brain and I had to let it all out. I guess another selfish moment. 😀 Have a wonderful day!

Love you, mean it!
~C

Pfema “Punkin” Benford 1997-2010

Good morning.

This morning, when the alarm went off for me to take Clipford on his daily walk, Pfema jumped on the bed, got in my face and was panting. This was certainly not normal and Pfema has always been very good about letting me know when he needs something so I could not ignore it. I called the Animal Emergency Clinic and they said any types of breathing problems is a feline emergency so I gathered Pfema & Clipford and headed to the vet. When I arrived, they took him right back for x-rays then to give him oxygen (they put him in a box that’s sealed and gets filled with high quantities of oxygen). The doctor showed me that the x-rays and pointed out that the area that should show healthy lungs (air shows black on x-rays) was creamy white – fluid in and around the lungs. It was also very difficult to distinguish the lung and heart areas. She said that this was most likely caused because of heart disease (common in older cats) which causes lungs to fill with fluid.

——————can’t write anymore right now——————

I wrote that on Tuesday, March 2, 2010. I still can’t write anymore but I thought I’d start by taking it out of “Drafts”.

It’s Sunday again.

Here we are on a Sunday again and I have another to do list. But today’s is a little more simple because today will be my day to get myself ready to go to TMEA. I’m more excited this year than before because I have an All Stater (he’s THE Jazz Guitarist in the All State Jazz Ensemble). I’m a little worried for him because he had some amp problems at the Hill Country Jazz Festival yesterday – and by amp problems, I mean his amp started smoking – so hopefully he can get that all worked out before we leave on Wednesday.

I’m also excited because my friend Ron McCurdy will be conducting the All State Jazz Ensemble and he’s flying into Austin on Tuesday evening and will be driving into San Antonio with me on Wednesday. He lives in LA so we talk in short bursts on the phone but I haven’t seen him since the last time he was in Texas which was a few years ago, I think.

I’ve also been invited to the Westin La Cantera for a spa treatment and some wining/dining by a group courting both TJEA and JEN to use their services for event & hotel planning. I’m excited to see what their services offer as well as time in the spa. From the website, you can see that it’s a beautiful place. I maybe looking forward to this most of all! 😉

So, today includes laundry, putting away laundry, packing and just general house cleaning so I can come home to a semi-clean house. I want to get a “hot little pair of black heels”, as I’ve been saying for 3 weeks now, as well today so hopefully a shoe shopping trip will be made *ahem – Mrs. Klenzendorf*. I’m going to my Bollywood dance class with the girls tonight, too so I guess I better get moving. Happy Sunday!

Beef Stew

While walking through my local HEB on Sunday, I figured I should get something to make for dinner and decided on beef stew. I’ve made a roast before but I don’t know that I’ve ever made a beef stew so I took a moment to add some key ingredients I knew I didn’t have at home to my list. Here’s what I did when I got home:

1 Pot Beef Stew


1 lb beef chunks (I used pre-cut stew beef)
3 carrots
3 potatoes
1 onion
1 celery, including leaves
1 leek
Red Wine
Beef Stock
2 bay leaves
Dried basil
Dried rosemary
Salt & pepper

1. I coated the dried beef chunks (pre-cut) in flour and sautéed in the pot I was making the stew in (yes, this is a one pot dish!!).

2. I chopped up my veggies.
Carrots (I used 3)

Potatoes (I used 3)

Onion (I used 1)

Celery (I used 1, including leaves)

Leeks (I used 1 – cut open and wash each piece very carefully. It holds a lot of dirt.)

3. I turned the heat back on and deglazed the pan with some red wine and beef stock (I thawed leftover stock from a previous meal). I added salt, pepper, two bay leaves, basil (dried) & rosemary (dried) at this point as well.

4. All the veggies and meat go in the pot.

5. Cover and cook on medium high heat.

6. The veggies are tender so it’s ready to eat!

7. Final product:

The Pack Leader

I’m reading a lot of information from the Dog Whisperer and he says that there should only be one Pack Leader in the house and if you want your dog to behave, it shouldn’t be the dog. Here is a good representation of how it is in my household:

Even the dog knows this one is in charge: